This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
