It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
