You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
