also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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