I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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