i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
