i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
