Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
