Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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