i think my tv is drunk
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
