i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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