What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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