Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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