i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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