those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
