i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
