thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
