one word: firstdatebathroomanal
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
