he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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