she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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