I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
