I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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