We're like a lot better than the average bears
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
