they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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