If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
