Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
