i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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