How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
