I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
