and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
