Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
