look no pants
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
