Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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