they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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