I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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