My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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