He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
