Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
