haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize