I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
