Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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