remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
