its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
