His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
