Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
