I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
