Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
