just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize