i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
