Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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