So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize