so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
