Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
is it fun? or sober?
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