called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize