There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
