You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
