soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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