He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
