I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
