Will you blow on my dice?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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